Unrequited
by LostC
Summary: FF: Femmeslash: Femslash: The world spins into a torrent of furious attraction and lust - cross over the line between right and wrong... [FaithBuffy] COMPLETED
1. Bronzing It

**_Note:_**_ 3 reviews = immediate chapter._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Summary: _**_What happens when an angry, violent, sexually-charged Faith lusts after Buffy?_

_… Dedicated to everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me and the greatest person in the world 3). Thank you._

**Part I – "Bronzing It"**

The days go by in a blur.

Monday melts into Tuesday... and suddenly it's Monday again. Hours spent watching so much television it gives me a headache. And if not, I'm slaying, partying, dancing, or fucking the brains out of some one.

It doesn't matter what I do in the end, because it's a vicious cycle. I don't know where my thoughts begin or where they end... I just know that I want _you_.

I want you so much that sometimes, I hate you.

Sometimes, when you look at me with those pleading eyes, I want to hit you until you're bruised, broken, and bloody beyond recognization. Sometimes, I want to pack my bags and leave Sunnydale and never see you again... Sometimes, while in bed with someone else, I see your face, I feel your hands. Sometimes, I have dreams where you hold me in your arms and tell me that you love me.

Sometimes, after these dreams, I wake up with a powerful ache in my chest, half-expecting to find you somewhere near.

Do you know what you're doing to me?

No. No, you wouldn't know. Because you're innocent, Buffy "straight-as-a-board" Summers. And even if I went ahead and kissed you on the lips, you'd somehow convince yourself it was friendly.

Some days, I want you so bad, I find myself walking unconsciously to your house... and I'll stand at your doorstep staring at the door as if, in doing so, I could be a part of your life. But I never walk in, and no one ever knows.

Some days, I want to kill you and end this misery. But I never do, and no one ever knows.

Today, I just want to forget.

Today, I want to dance, drink, and party until I forget.

I look up at the flashing words above me, _The Bronze_. This is where I first met you... and your groupies. But I barely saw them. You stole the spotlight, you stole my world.

Forgetting doesn't come easily, but I know once I get inside and ease into myself, things'll be good again.

Not even you, B... not even you can take this away from me.

I'm right, too, because once I step in, deafeningly loud music attacking my eardrums, I remember who I am. I'm Faith. I'm a slayer. I can have _anyone_. And for this small moment, I _am_ in control.

I'm drawn to the dance floor and the music takes possession of my body. Flashing lights, people moving to the beat like their lives depended on it... _music_. I'm in my element, and I know it.

As I gyrate to the beat, I can feel their eyes on me, and I know that they know it, too.

It feels _good_.

Everything around disappears and all that's left is me and the hard beat that flows through my veins. Vaguely, I'm aware of a few boys who come close by and try to keep up. I let them try, just to show them that they can't.

I'm a one woman show until I decide otherwise.

On the dance floor, I am _god_.


	2. Want You Still

**_Note:_**_ 4 reviews = immediate chapter… upped it by one. Am I pushing it?_

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Summary: _**_What happens when an angry, violent, sexually-charged Faith lusts after Buffy?_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me and the greatest person in the world 3). Thank you._

lil badass – Hell yeah. I have it all written out already.

Puma4 – Updating all the way. Keep the reviews coming, I keep the chapters coming. Here's hoping I can keep you hooked. Tell me how I do, yeah?

nightwalker – Here you go.

VixenRaign – It just gets saucier, babe.

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part II – "Want You Still"**

"So... uh... wanna crash back in my place?"

I study him silently, considering the offer, before knocking back the beer he bought me, having retired from the dance floor. Bitterness burns its way down my throat. I know what he wants. It's what they all want. Sex. My eyes trace over his body. He's toned and gorgeous - completely my type. The kind of guy I usually say 'yes' to.

His eyes are expectant, engulfed with a desire I've seen countless times before.

"Not today, buddy. Sorry."

I offer an offhanded shrug and a smirk that spares no apologies. Another swig of the beer and I was gone and out the door before a word of protest could pass his lips.

Outside, savoring the crisp nighttime air, I curse at myself. I kick angrily at the garbage cans, watching as they tumble and clang on the pavement. Even when it's about one-night-stands that don't mean shit, it's still all about you.

It's _always_ about you.

It's times like these that I hate you, B. You invade my mind, my thoughts, my time, and Slayer connection be damned, because you still don't know a thing. I had everyone clambering for my attentions, every red-blooded teenager sitting in the palm of my hand.

Except for you.

Because of fucking a fucking vampire. A de-fanged vampire with a soul. Angel. He doesn't deserve you, Buffy. I don't _understand_. Why him? Why not _me_? I can give you what you want, and Angel... hell, you can't even use him for a good fuck. And still, when I look into your eyes, I see _him_ reflected in them.

You're a slayer, girlfriend. Is that why you do it? Because you shouldn't? For the forbidden fruit that must never be picked? But even that isn't it, is it?

You love him.

I feel sick for a moment... but it passes quickly, leaving nothing but a bitter trace left by the knowledge that I _still_ want you.

_Still_ want you so strongly that it leaves me feeling frozen with ice and searing with fire at the same time. _Still_ want you hard, on the floor, taking you savagely, over and over, until you soundlessly scream my name, voice already gone from countless times before. _Still_ want you slow and sensuous, in your bed, surrounded by all that's light and you, the moans that fill the room.

And I _still_ don't know what I really want when it comes to you.

But with the longing for power and an outlet for all my bottled rage, I head for the cemetery.

I _will_ have you one day.


	3. Control

**_Note:_**_ 6 reviews = immediate chapter… greed's one of those damn sins, isn't it? Excellent._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you._

Berkley – More.

Puma4 – Looks like I've got myself a regular already. *smirk* Cool.

Ash – Thanks. And. All reviews and readers are very much appreciated. It means something that you read it, even if you can't think of anything to say.

VixenRaign – It'll keep going. And hell, you don't even have to worry. It's HOT-hot-sauce.

Karen – Sweeeeetie! *tackle-huggle* I can't believe you reviewed - I love you!!! *points. points. points* Look! It's my girlfriend! *lol* I'm sorry, honey, I'll stop embarrassing you now. *grins* It's not my fault you make me so happy that I end up acting like a complete goof.

lil badass – I feel like I owe it to everyone to say something back if someone had actually taking the time to say something.

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part III – "Control"**

I'm not completely sure how it ended up like this.

After the Bronze, I stalked over to the graveyard, letting the madness take me over. Red blinded my vision and everything faded into flying fists and release. Every vampire took on the form of Angel and the rage rocketed through my mind, binding with slayer strength and escaping through violence.

The fight planted the seed of a twisted pleasure in the pit of my stomach that grew with every connected hit.

Slaying and dancing.

Two of the three that make up the greatest loves of my life.

And falling deeper into the high I created, I couldn't even sense that you entered through the gates, watching me through my flurry of attacks. You never said a word, didn't pull me away and demand answers as you had the first time you saw me like this. Only when I was finished, did you approach me.

Now you stare at me with the same breed of desperate lust that the guy from the Bronze stared at me with. But the intensity was different.

Deeper.

And like I knew him, I know you. I understand what you want. Sex. With me. The one thing I never thought you'd let yourself fall into.

What happened to "holier-than-thou" Buffy?

No questions make it pass my lips.

You look disheveled, perfect blonde hair out of place, mascara in dried, black rivers on your cheeks... but you still look gorgeous and too clean.

Emptiness, all that remains of the fight, gnaws at me. Not for the first time, it's a hole running so deep, it makes me insane with the need to fill it. I want to explain to you that this is the reasoning behind the "hungry and horny". That it's the only way I know how to fill it.

That it's only because I'm scared that if I became so hollow inside... what would keep me from falling within myself?

And I want to tell you everything, so I can re-live that moment in my dreams where everything inside me - usually filled with deafening screams and voices from the past - is so quiet and steady...

I want you to love me.

But instead of saying these things, I leer at you, "Looking for some action tonight, B?"

You don't say a word in reply, but your hazel eyes are specific and demanding, with a spark of impatience. You want me to make the first move so you can somehow, dismiss what we both know is about to happen, on grounds that I had initiated it. I know your game, Buffy, but I'm not going to lose.

We stare each other down, the tension palpable, like electricity cackling in the air. When I look into your eyes, I know I'll win. You know it, too.

So tell me, how does it feel, B, to need me like you do?


	4. Rush

**_Note:_**_ 7 reviews = immediate chapter… no direction to go but forward. Sorry about the delay. School. I'm sure you all know how it gets sometimes…_

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you._

lil badass – 4:20am? You're one hell of a crazy bitch, honey, I'll tell you that much. But I'm flattered, yeah. *smiles back* You can have the prize for most dedicated reader. *lol*

VixenRaign – *cool-ified* And I believe it's "muy caliente"… but I can't be sure, and I've not the effort to look for the right spelling. Sometimes I wonder where five years of taking Spanish courses leads me to… *lol* Sign language is a good language course I hear, I wanted to take it, but of course I was too lazy to sign up. And oh, it only gets hotter. Check it out! The rating got upped to 'R'… and then later, to what _would_ be 'NC-17' if Fanfiction.net laws hadn't taken that away… but don't even get me _started on that. Ugh. … And oh. I've agree – I've also noted a definite decrease in femslash readers and writers since the end of BtVS. It's a pity. There was a lot of potential there. So many topics to address, so little space…_

Mandie – *lol* Mandie. I don't particularly want to touch any hairy asses, with my foot or otherwise… It sounds rather unpleasant, doesn't it? Although you know I always do enjoy your… ah… rather unusual phrases, which is also something you know I've always more or less written off as a French thing. You're all a rather odd race. But anyway, BtVS fanfics are _very good. You should indulge more – you know you want to. Deep, deep down._

Jen – I'll keep going until the end of the world… or rather… more accurately, three more chapters or so after this one.

Rain – *laughs* I guess you'll just have to find out, hm? I'm not giving away anything. *sticks tongue out*

cw – More acceptable to, "want, take, have" indeed. Thanks for the positive comments. I think you really understand what I'm trying to depict with my words.

Broken Bracelet – Thanks!

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part IV – "Rush"**

We're both back at my cheap motel and you've got me pinned against my own wall, your lips scorching hot against every bit of bared flesh. It feels like you're branding me. You're moving fast, shedding your clothes as you kiss me. Rough enough to bruise.

I want to take it slow.

B... Buffy, it isn't supposed to be this way.

But, _oh_, it feels too good.

My fingers dig into your back as you arch against me, your body warm, lithe... _alive_ in my hands. Seized by the sudden need to have you closer than humanly possible, I pull you against me. _Hard_.

"Clothes. Hurt. Off." you whimper in-between kisses and I'm suddenly unhappily aware that I'm still fully dressed.

It takes too long for us to remove it with impatient hands and after a loud rip, the material flutters to the floor. I break our kiss to smirk at you, "Don't they say good things come to those who wait?"

Instead of answering, you wordlessly jerk my head down to yours and crush our lips together again. Our kisses are fierce and vehement and sends wave after wave of blistering heat down my body.

Kissing you feels too good to be legal.

And I'd be more than happy to carry on kissing you, your entire naked length pressed up against mine, so close you couldn't slip a piece of paper through us, but you have other plans. Before I know it, I find myself thrown on the bed, and then suddenly with you straddling me, sweaty hands gripping shakily at my shoulders. Staring up, I'm mesmerized by your increasingly shallow breaths in contrast with my heaving deep ones.

You're so perfect - lips swollen, eyes screwed shut... so prettily flushed _everywhere_... and I've barely _touched_ you. Until I really _looked_ at you, I was almost amazed that I've given up my natural craving for control, just to see how you'd look on top.

If only for this one moment.

And I can hear my heartbeat raging against my eardrums.

"You're beautiful..." I whisper huskily before I can stop myself, a sudden impulse for tenderness in the mist of the quick paced events leading up to this. Trailing my fingers down the unimaginably smooth skin of your back, I commit every curve to memory.

What am I doing?

I don't know anymore. But I'm so fascinated by everything you are...

As my fingers ran lower, you sighed, long and low, and in a breathy tone, whispered the one word that made everything fall apart, destroying whatever it was that I had begun to feel.

"..._Angel_..."


	5. Can't Take This

**_Note:_**_ 7 reviews = immediate chapter… you all can thank Karen for this chapter, too. I didn't notice I had so many new reviews and I wasn't going to update or check until tomorrow-ish._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you._

Ash – *lol* You've been waiting a pretty damn long time then. Crazy. I hope you did take care of your bladder needs though. :P Next chapter!

Karen – Babe! This is like the second-ish time you replied, right? (I can't count!) You're the best, I love you, too! *blows kisses*

lil badass – Damn straight! I even signed a petition to get Fanfiction.net to put back the NC-17 rating again… and when I last looked at it, it was well over two hundred or so. But I haven't heard from it since. How could something with so many signatures fail to do something? Maybe the staff just ignored it. Ugh. And, "muy caliente", eh? What high school language course did you take? But on other topics… your prize…? Send me a wish list and I'll get back to you on that. :P

rain – *laughs* You'll see how it goes… I think I dare to say that a lot of you are going to be at my throats in a few days…

Melissa – Harsh is my forte. Cotton-y pink romance fluff just isn't my thing.

VixenRaign – *LOL* I _am_ the uber-evil. *deepens voice* **VixR, I am your father.** … Not really. *not a man person or father-ish figure* And oh, quit it, you're going to make me feel bad. *sticks out tongue* Read, you!

Akasha – I get meaner, too.

cw – Oh, she did so! I like to keep in mind that highs and lows are key to a successful storyline – although I guess I would have to say there isn't much of a plot in this (unfortunately). It was written out a while ago. I guess I just never took the time to think it out. But I don't know how I managed to get off-topic. *laughs* I'll let you read now.

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part V – "Can't Take This"**

"Faith -"

"I don't want to hear it, B."

"Faith -"

"Shut the hell up!"

"Faith, please, just -"

"Just what? Just _what_? Calm down? You just fucking called out Angel's name, and you want _me_ to _calm down_?"

"I'm _sorry_!"

"I don't give a flying fuck, _Buffy_," I scream, "Sorry just doesn't cut it!"

I'm off the bed and you're on your back, pulling up my blankets to cover yourself. Suddenly insecure? Feel bad? Good. I hope you rot in hell, bitch.

We were doing good. We were doing _so_ good. And you fucking _ruined_ it.

You ruined _everything_.

You're looking at me with those wide, pleading eyes of yours. Those that scream shock and apology so loudly, it hurts my head. I don't want to hear it. I look into your guilty eyes, and something inside clicks. Your blank expression. The mascara. The distress vibes. The unmanaged hair.

..._ Angel_.

"It's about _him_, isn't it?" I demand, beyond furious.

You don't even have to ask who, and you look down, hair falling like a golden veil in front of your face. There are no verbal answers, but your actions are more than clear enough.

Stalking over, I grab you forcefully by the chin, pulling your face up to look at me. A slight wince falls over your face, but I don't care. You deserve the pain.

Seething, I speak slowly, through clenched teeth, "What. Fucking. _Happened_?"

"Angel," you mumble softly, still refusing to meet my eyes, "He's gone. He left."

"Boo hoo." I sneer, pouring every ounce of sarcasm I could muster into my words, "So you thought you'd just come by and use me, right? Because poor Faith is so horny and needy, she won't mind. Because Faith is incapable of feelings. Because Faith doesn't matter to you."

"That's not -"

"That's _all_ it is to you!" I burst, releasing you and ignoring the angry red imprints of my fingers on your face. My hands clench at my sides. I want to hit you. Instead, I walk over to my dresser, rummaging through clothes.

"Faith, please -"

I whirl around, spitting out angrily, "Don't even try it, B, don't even try it, or I swear..."

Everything's whirling and twisting inside my head.  Every word you say makes it throb more. And through the torrent of painful anger, it makes sense.

I hate you.

I pull out the first weapon I find. A gun. You're suddenly quiet, horrified. What's the matter? Being naked strips away your confidence?

Not mine.

Or maybe it's because, as unnaturally strong and fast as slayers are, we're not made to dodge bullets.

Are you scared, yet? I hope you are.

"Faith..." your voice is small, "I'm sorry."

"_Sorry_? You're _sorry_?" I bark out a disbelieving laugh, half-hysterical, "It's too late for that now. Maybe you should've thought about it _before_ you played me. I'm not a replacement for a fuckin' _vampire_."

I make my way towards you, shoving my face inches before yours. Your fear is tangible and I'm loving every sick little moment of it.

"Just remember. The gun is loaded, B, and you know how we play our games. You fuck with me, I fuck with you. An eye for an eye."


	6. Should've Been

**_Note:_**_ 9 reviews = immediate chapter… Pushing the limits, I know, but… One more chapter, one more chapter! **Next chapter's the last! Review me!**_

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you._

Ash – Aw! Did you catch the flu? :( *dispenses hugs* I'm glad an update makes things better… What tops your list of 'Worst Feelings in the World'?

cw – Hey, honey, you _wish_ it were just an extremely realistic water pistol… and *lol* it _did sound ****__extremely dirty. *ponders* I like bangs better._

Karen – Reviews make me _very_ happy! Check it _OUT! I've gotten 36 already! *bounces* And sweetie, I think it's the_ last_ one that's your favorite… *smirk*_

LJ – Always good to know I've got the in-character-ness down.

rain – *LOL* You see invisible butterflies, too?! Oh my gawd, **_me_, _too! I just _knew_ my psychologist was _totally_ off when he said my problem was one-of-a-kind! *laughs* Just. Kidding. I think. *shifty eyes* And you better pull your jaw back up 'cause here's another update!_**

lil badass – *loved* I have the greatest pack of reviewers in the universe. *grins* And *laughs* _damn_, woman, what kind of high are _you_ on? I really enjoyed the rambling/babbling aspect of your review, by the way. It was wonderful and made me smile a couple times. *LOL* And who do you send the wish list to? I guess if you don't want to send it to me, you could always send it to that good, reliable, non-existent Santa… depending on the_ content of your wishes… *coughs* … If they're too naughty like I know _my_ wishes are, you could always just take orders from the porn shop. *clears throat* … Or. Not. And on a final note… 'bendejo'? Hmm._

Akasha15 – … Is that a potential porn star/stripper name? I like the Star Wars part. And the "mistress of" *ignores "Fuffy"* "pain" parts. *contemplates*

rma – *laughs* Humor is always appreciated. I _did_ think about killing Buffy off a couple times or another, actually… And thanks. A story can neeeever be too loved, you know? *grin*

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part VI – "Should've Been"**

I'm on top now, hovering over you on hands and knees. The gun is a dead, steely cold in my hands as I drag it lightly along your cheek, heading slowly towards your neck.

"Is this how _Angel_ felt?" I growled, voice ringing unnaturally harsh in my ears.

"Faith, please, don't..."

Begging gets you nowhere, Buffy. I had to learn that the hard way. I increase the pressure of the gun point on your skin, in warning, "I asked you a question, B. Didn't anyone ever teach you manners? Maybe you didn't hear me. I'll say it again then. Is _this_ how Angel felt?"

You whisper something incomprehensible, turning your head to the side to avoid eye contact.

"No," with my free hand, I turn your head back, not letting go, locking my eyes on yours. I revel in your weakness and my power. "No. Say it. Say it again. I want you to fucking look at me this time."

"We can talk about this." you insist, some of your courage returning. "Faith, I'm sorry."

"All you want to do all the damn time is _talk_. Talk, talk, talk. Well reality check, babe. Talk is cheap. I'm in control. And guess what? I think I'm getting off more on the action side of things."

How do you like it, B?

Rough and cold?

I'll give you what you fucking came for.

"Faith -"

"I'm sick of listening to you wear out my name, B."

I start the kiss this time, dominating it. Dominating _you_. For a split second, you're unresponsive with surprise... but when you _do_ kiss back - it's every bit as intense as the last one. It almost doesn't matter what circumstances this kiss is on.

I feel like I've been lit on fire.

When I finally pull away, a small cry for more escapes your lips. Your hazel eyes flutter open and I take in, gradually, how unfocused and disoriented you are.

"Uhnm..." you finally groan, voice gone soft and dreamy, forgetful of everything before the kiss, all rebellion gone, "Mm... that was... nice."

But I gather myself a lot faster, and I can't say the same. I still remember you calling out for Angel. I still remember my bitter anger. I still remember that you could have been thinking of him as I kiss you.

I still remember you have the power to hurt me.

But it's all ebbing away and every moment looking at you kills a bit of it. Maybe it kills a little of me, too. I dig my nails into my palm to steel myself and I'm reminded of the gun that lays forgotten there.

I feel sick. I feel like crying.

How can you _not_ feel the chemistry, too?

How can you still want a _vampire_?

I feel so cheated. _I_ should've had you. You should've been my goddess. You should've been _perfect_. But it's too late now... and there's nowhere for me to go but forward.

I hate you.

My fingers dance across your face, and despite myself, they linger at your lips. And I can feel my hands tremble slightly as they brush past. Soft, _soft_, pink lips... forever pouting. Your eyes slide shut again and I can feel, rather than hear, your sigh. And all I want to do is take you.

You used me.

This isn't my first time with a woman. But you make me feel slow and clumsy, like I've never done this before. All I want to do is trust you.

You called out for _Angel_.

Your body is made of soft curves and hard muscles. So perfectly melded together it makes my breath catch. And your breasts... I want to cry. It shouldn't have to be like this, Buffy. I shouldn't have to be mad at you. It shouldn't have to be anything short of perfect... perfect enough for you.

It has to be exactly like _this_.

Something lodges itself in my throat. How can you not feel the same way? _How_ can you not feel anything but _Angel_ when _I'm_ so lost in you? I take a moment before slowly plunging a finger between your legs, into the wetness and heat.

"_Angel_!" you gasp.

"No _fucking_ way, B." I jerk away from you, as if burned. Anger flares up in my stomach again. Once was bad, Buffy, twice... twice was going too far. I hefted the gun in my hands again, "Do you want Angel? I'll _give_ you Angel."


	7. Release

**_Note:_**_ Well, my lovely reviewers… This is the end._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…_

**_Dedicated To…_**

_Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you._

Ash – *LOL* The 'twice' bit _is_ a nasty little twist, isn't it? *grins* And hey, look! Another update. Better than flowers and get-well cards?

lil badass – No dishing out pain to Buffy! … Unless it involves chains. Because I like chains. *lol* I don't watch Will and Grace, so I couldn't say much about the episode… although it sounds _very_ interesting. I have the Full Throttle DVD though… and there _is a whole lot of ass… and all around fun. Well, _I_ enjoyed it anyway. :P Sorry for making all of you wait so long, by the way. But better late than never, isn't it? And *LOL*… _Dear lil badass, define "hard sex and drugs"…__

rma – Yeees again. And no, Buffy isn't. I couldn't understand why, for the life of me, Faith puts up with all that. Although… taking into consideration the end of Season 3, I guess she didn't, huh?

cw – The moment you've all been waiting for… the last chapter… Enjoy yourself! Or. Kill me after you're done. Whatever. *laughs*

Akasha15 – I don't think you want to know what I'll do with that name. *winks back conspiringly* *laughs* No. Not really. I'm an angel. The epitome of innocence. Really. *clears throat* …

VixenRaign – *lol* Faith is _definitely_ a hottie. Anyone else checking out that leather clad ass and that chest? *LOL* And. Aw! I won't repeat a thing. *offers hugs*

GrimSage – Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! Or. Not. *LOL* Depending what you're into.

Nightwalker – That's cool. And yeah, plot twists. I like them. Hence the often plot twists… which… obvious. *ramble*

**_Note:_**_ Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have _some_ needs…_

**Part VII – "Release"**

The gun went inside you in place of my finger.

Your cry echoes through the room. The perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

"Is it cold, Buffy? Is it _cold_?" I spit, blinded by fury. "Is this how Angel felt inside you? Did you _like_ it? Do you like it _now_? _Answer_ me!"

You're helpless to the gun and all you can do is scream. Scream incoherent answers into my ears. I thrust it in deeper, faster and your hips twitch franticly. Your bronzed skin gleams with a film of sweat and your breaths more shallow than ever. Lost in ecstasy without me.

"Does it hurt? Is it so cold it _hurts_?" Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me, B? Are you as blinded by the feeling as I am by this anger? Are you as lost as I am? Are you really? "Go on, go on and _scream_."

And you do, as you fall over the edge. Louder than ever, in a near-deafening volume.

But never as loud as my torture inside.

Once the spasms cease, you lie limp and silent in my bed, eyes still closed. I know why, Buffy. I _know_. You don't want to look at me. You don't want to have to face what we did. What you did.

Is there even a 'we'? Was there ever an 'us'?

Probably not.

The gun slides out easily, but I don't want to look at it. I guess I don't want to see what I've done, either.

It falls on the floor with a muted 'thump'.

Nothing in the dead silence but our labored breaths.

Adrenaline's deserted me and my arms, shaking faintly, fail me. I fall onto you, barely conscious of anything but the sting in the back of my eyes. I twist my head away from you, burying my face in the pillow. The draining numbness of exhaustion mingles with rising, overwhelming shame. The hollow ache beneath my breast grows.

And suddenly.

I'm crying.

Silent tears soaking into the cotton. Surrounded by _everything_ that's you. I've hurt you. I won. Game… over? But I can't be happy. I can't be satisfied. The emptiness gnaws at me more than ever. Nothing matters anymore.

"Faith," your voice is hesitant and weighed down with guilt, "I'm... I'm sorry."

I will _never_ have you.

Even if I spent forever dying from needing you.

_Never._

You'll always love _Him_.

... But it's not your fault.

A sigh. I'm breathing out my life.

"I know, B."

**_NOTE_****_: _**_I believe I'll be releasing my sequel to "Unrequited" sometime soon… along with my new original fiction, if and when I ever get done with it. If you want to keep in touch, (so I could update you on new things and such, or just chill – I've got free time to burn every once in a while), leave an email or screen name (MSN, Yahoo!, and AIM will all work fine). Talk soon. 'til then – take care and mind your lesbian subtext!_


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